Body Image During Pregnancy
The things a lot of woman don't talk about.
The things a lot of woman don't talk about.
"Pregnancy is such an incredible blessing and gift from God, but if I am being honest with you guys, the changes it has had on my body have not been the easiest. Now before I start writing what has been on my heart for a while, I just want you to know that this is a safe place; a place to be raw and transparent. There is NO judgment here. I hope you feel welcomed and leave feeling encouraged and less alone! There's this weird vibe during pregnancy that if you feel bad about your body, you are shamed and looked down upon as a woman. The negativity around body image is something I hope that we, as women, can change. I am not lying when I tell you some of the first thoughts I had when I saw that positive line on the stick was, "How is this going to change my body?" I have struggled with body image my whole life and have been on a journey of self-love for what feels like forever. The thought of getting pregnant always stressed me out because I never knew what it would do to my body and how my body would change. I would always see these posts on Pinterest on how to have an "only belly" pregnancy or how to not gain a ton of weight. It honestly stressed me out way before even trying to have a baby was on my mind. Being overwhelmed with this kind of standard is awful. I honestly don't think I would be where I am without my amazing and encouraging husband who takes any chance he can get to compliment me and admire my body. That doesn't mean it isn't hard when your jeans don't fit all of a sudden and your favorite top looks weird. Then there's the awkward stage of not fitting into your normal clothes, but you can't seem to find any maternity clothes that fit either.
Most of the time when I would hear a mom talk about her pregnancy it was always how wonderful it was and how she'd do it over again any day. I never hear much about the harder parts of it. That is why I felt so shameful when those negative thoughts came to my mind about my body changes. I thought to myself, "How dare I think that! How selfish am I? This is such a wonderful God-sent blessing." That didn't and doesn't make me any less of a women or mother and it doesn't make you one either! I had to step back and remind myself of the miracle of life that is growing inside of me and how honored I am that God chose me fit to be this baby boy's mom. It gave me a chance to remind myself of the promises of God. Bad thoughts still creep up from time to time, but I instantly remind myself of the promise and love that God has for me. And with that, body image and self-love slowly gets easier. The great things is is that I feel and see our sweet baby boy move and fall in love with him more and more. Getting to carry him is a beautiful thing despite what I may have go through with self love."
Written by Michelle Compton
@simplystatedok
"My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was close to six weeks along. Just two months later we were pregnant again with my now four year old daughter. I was scared to exercise, was in my senior year of college, and was at my lowest weight ever at the beginning of her pregnancy; I gained around 80lbs. I could fill a journal just with comments people had the audacity to make. But she was born naturally at home, and it was truly an ideal labor and delivery. Through that pregnancy, and especially postpartum, I felt like I was in a stretched-out alien body, constantly criticizing every flabby inch of myself. After almost two years of trying and failing at "getting my body back," I begged God to help me. I was so insecure, and no amount of reinforcement (positive or negative) could change it. When I became pregnant with my son, I worked hard to make sure I had a healthier pregnancy. I felt so much better! But his labor was 22 hours at home, ending with an emergency C-section. I have new stretch marks, a new scar that bears witness to the miracle God had been preparing my body for all along. I have to be gracious to the body I so readily tore down, because it worked hard to protect my son exactly as God created it to do. The weight will eventually be gone, but not the scars. It is like God has flipped a switch inside me. I've realized there is only so much room in my heart, and I want to only fill it with a passionate pursuit of Christ and the tasks He has assigned to me. Being the mom He has called me to be requires all of me; there is none leftover to breed insecurity. It is a hard disease to completely eradicate, but you can't feed it. You can't. There is too little time with our beautiful, amazing, small children in our care to spend it crying in dressing rooms. Eat well and exercise, not out of vanity or societal pressure, but because it provides the fuel needed to lift your kids into your arms and hold them tighter for longer. And while jeans are always going to be classic and stylish, can we all just admit they're also kind of the worst, so who cares what size they are? Because it depends where you're shopping anyway, and your kids are going to get boogers all over them no matter how perfectly they hug your booty."
Written by Mikayla Madl
@mikaylamadl
" When my bump first started appearing in my second trimester, I felt so attractive. There was something about carrying a child that made me feel so strong and beautiful. I wanted to show it off to the world and purposefully wear clothes that would make my bump more apparent because that was the sexiest I’d felt in a long time. I welcomed my first couple of stretch marks with joy because they were an outward symbol of the miracle that was happening inside my body. Then the stretch marks kept coming and coming. What started out as a few eventually became a ton. I’d gained but a few pounds until the last couple of months when the weight seemed to be sticking and all I could focus on was the number on the scale. My skin started to hate pregnancy. I began getting breakouts that were painful and worse than they’d been throughout my whole adolescence. Women always told me about how their hair was so nice during pregnancy; that it grew long and thick and it was shiny and beautiful. Though mine started out that way, it eventually became stringy and dull, at least to me. The confidence that I had felt during the first two trimesters waivered, and I wanted to start hiding my pregnant body instead of showing it off. Who you surround yourself with makes all the difference when it comes to body image during your pregnancy. I am blessed with a husband who makes me feel beautiful all the time and especially throughout my pregnancy. My family tells me that I’m carrying nicely, that my body looks healthy and strong. If you’re someone without those people in your life, remembering your beauty and worth can be difficult. It doesn’t help when Instagram is filled with the most flattering shots of other mommies and their pregnant bellies sporting the cutest maternity outfits while you’re sitting on the couch wearing only your husband’s t-shirt because nothing in your closet seems to fit right. I’m there and so are so many others. What has helped me through it is realizing how strong I must be to do what I’m doing. Yes, women have babies all the time, but that doesn’t make it any less amazing. Some days are hard and you don’t want to look in the mirror, but on the days where you can, remind yourself of how strong God must’ve made you to be able to make a human. Remind yourself of the patience you must possess in order to go through these changes for nine whole months. Remind yourself of how resilient you must be to be poked and prodded by your doctor at every appointment for the sake of another person. Those qualities are worth so much more than your outward appearance but they work hand in hand:When you feel strong in the inside, you feel more radiant on the outside. There will be days when you don’t feel beautiful and will dislike the way your body looks. But realizing how much you are needed by another human life will keep you going. Realizing how strong you are will overshadow any feelings of negativity you have about the way you look. Dear mamas, what you’re doing is amazing and you look so beautiful doing it."
" On September 5, we celebrated our son Alyosha’s first birthday! It’s been the most amazing year of my life – I absolutely love being his mama but I did not love being pregnant. For me, those 9+ months were some of the most challenging of my entire life. From very early on in my pregnancy I felt incredibly sick. I was nauseas constantly and continued to throw up daily from hyperemesis until the very end. I spent so many days laying on my bathroom floor and getting sick, just praying for some relief. I counted down days, weeks, and months until I would feel better. I felt incredibly isolated, trapped, and discouraged. I missed the super energetic version of myself. I missed being able to enjoy food. I missed WANTING to be social. I missed feeling at home in my body. What really helped me through that time was to remember that we are human and we are allowed to have tough experiences and seasons. In the beginning, this was REALLY hard for me to accept. I wanted to pretend like everything was fine but soon realized that pushing down my feelings of loneliness, sadness, and general unwell-ness only made it harder for me to process the experience. So I got real with myself, God, and the people who I trusted the most. I let myself open up and share. I let myself ask for help. It’s so important to be honest with ourselves and others about how we’re feeling, what we’re going through, and our true experiences. People want to love us through the tough stuff! Wherever you are or whatever you’re experiencing, you can be kind to yourself with your words, thoughts, & actions. Be tender with yourself & do the things (small or large) that help you feel supported. The details of our day can truly shift our experience! My wish for you and for me is that we can allow our lives to unfold in their beautiful, messy, unique ways. And, that we can all remember that some of God’s greatest gifts come out of more challenging seasons!"
"Pregnancy saved my life. I know that without a doubt in my mind that God allowed me to become pregnant to literally save my life. To have something new to live for, something to be excited about, something to love and nurture. I am a former figure competitor and always deep down wanted kids but had fear of getting fat and fear of the marriage I was in was not stable enough to have kids. Fast forward, I am not longer in the competing/fitness world heavily like I used to be, I spend more hours spending time with my family rather than countless hours in a gym. I went through a hard divorce that ended up being a huge blessing, and my past all brought me to meet my now boyfriend and love of my life who Im bringing a child into this world with. I guess the hard part of my pregnancy was not the physical transformations (about 1/2 way through my pregnancy now) but what people might think of me because I was a divorced woman now having a child with my boyfriend. I only allowed myself to get upset a little because I knew God had a plan for my life bigger than I knew, and that God does not call the perfect, He uses the imperfect. I know that by sharing my life, my past pain and my testimony has helped others. Growing a little boy has brought me so much joy. Its a joy and an excitement thats indescribable. NO matter the situation you are on, whether pure perfection or a hard struggle, know that your carrying a blessing and we have a savior who is control."
"Hello, I’m Lindsey! I’m twenty-two and a stay-at-home mama to my thirteen month old son, Henry. I’m also fourteen weeks pregnant with his baby sister. We did a blood test and found out early that she’s a girl! I’ve been married to my highschool sweetheart for four years and we live in Arizona. (Yes, I got married at seventeen.) Being a mama already and now experiencing pregnancy again, my body looks quite different than it did before. I was never very confident about my body growing up, either. I was on the taller side and was always way bigger than my peers when we had our yearly BMI testing at school. According to the BMI, I was almost overweight every year, sometimes actually overweight. It made me feel so bad about myself and looking back at photos, I wasn’t overweight at all. The heaviest I was my senior year was 132 lbs while being 5 foot, 7 inches tall. When I became pregnant with Henry, I was already bigger than I wanted to be from gaining twenty pounds from being depressed after we experienced two miscarriages. But I was so happy, so it was all okay. From the start of my pregnancy, I only gained the amount of weight I was supposed to, but that didn’t stop my body from “betraying me.” I got my first stretch mark at ten weeks and by the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced they were going to be up to my neck before he came! Haha. I tried every lotion and cream, everyday, and nothing worked. It’s all genetic! My placenta was on the front and it was pretty low so it made my stomach sag down pretty low. I wasn’t liking the way my body was changing, but I knew it was for the most perfect baby boy and was going to all be worth it! After he was born, I lost all the pregnancy and miscarriage weight (sixty-five pounds) so fast from breastfeeding and gallbladder surgery, that I now have extra skin on my stomach and thighs. But I was more confident in myself after having Henry than in my entire life. I couldn’t believe God made my body capable to hold and carry that sweet baby, birth him, and then also feed him… all with my body. I was far from model material, but I felt more beautiful than ever. It was probably when Henry was four or five months old that the “mama high” started fizzling away. Of course I was still so happy with my sweet baby, but the newness of birth and the miracle of pregnancy was far enough away that I was starting to resent my body again. I also regained my cycle when he was five months old and my acne since then has been the worst in my life! (thank you, hormones..) I knew I wanted to have a milk bath photoshoot done with him for our six month milestone with breastfeeding. While we were doing the shoot, the mesh that the photographer had to cover my belly kept getting pushed up by Henry’s legs while he was trying to nurse. She would remind me to pull it back down before she snapped another photo. I finally just said, “Ya know what? Just for me, take a few without the cover. That’s more real, anyway.” So she did. She sent me several the next day asking which ones she could post and that was one of them. I never thought I would share something so personal for me, but when I seen the photo, it was so healing. I didn’t see all the “flab” and stretch marks. I saw home and comfort for a beautiful baby. I saw the beauty and miracle of pregnancy again, even though he was six months. I just needed to see it through someone else’s eyes. She shared the photo, and by the next morning, it was on Yahoo! Beauty. So many women were feeling encouraged themselves because society has made us feel like we’re out of place when we don’t look perfect in a bikini after having a baby. Now that I’m pregnant again, my baby bump isn’t as cute unless I have my maternity pants on from the extra skin still, but that’s okay. I know now what to expect, and that this is truly a miracle. Especially having to lose two babies in the past. Knowing that I’m expecting a baby girl makes me want to love myself even more because I want her to love herself. She’ll watch how I feel about myself and since she came from me, she’ll do the same. I don’t want her to feel like I did. I know that God made her and I (and you!) in His image and fearfully and wonderfully made us. He set us apart. He knows all the hairs on our heads. To think we aren’t beautiful is to think that God doesn’t know what He’s doing… and He totally does. "
@simplystatedok
"My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was close to six weeks along. Just two months later we were pregnant again with my now four year old daughter. I was scared to exercise, was in my senior year of college, and was at my lowest weight ever at the beginning of her pregnancy; I gained around 80lbs. I could fill a journal just with comments people had the audacity to make. But she was born naturally at home, and it was truly an ideal labor and delivery. Through that pregnancy, and especially postpartum, I felt like I was in a stretched-out alien body, constantly criticizing every flabby inch of myself. After almost two years of trying and failing at "getting my body back," I begged God to help me. I was so insecure, and no amount of reinforcement (positive or negative) could change it. When I became pregnant with my son, I worked hard to make sure I had a healthier pregnancy. I felt so much better! But his labor was 22 hours at home, ending with an emergency C-section. I have new stretch marks, a new scar that bears witness to the miracle God had been preparing my body for all along. I have to be gracious to the body I so readily tore down, because it worked hard to protect my son exactly as God created it to do. The weight will eventually be gone, but not the scars. It is like God has flipped a switch inside me. I've realized there is only so much room in my heart, and I want to only fill it with a passionate pursuit of Christ and the tasks He has assigned to me. Being the mom He has called me to be requires all of me; there is none leftover to breed insecurity. It is a hard disease to completely eradicate, but you can't feed it. You can't. There is too little time with our beautiful, amazing, small children in our care to spend it crying in dressing rooms. Eat well and exercise, not out of vanity or societal pressure, but because it provides the fuel needed to lift your kids into your arms and hold them tighter for longer. And while jeans are always going to be classic and stylish, can we all just admit they're also kind of the worst, so who cares what size they are? Because it depends where you're shopping anyway, and your kids are going to get boogers all over them no matter how perfectly they hug your booty." Written by Mikayla Madl
@mikaylamadl
" When my bump first started appearing in my second trimester, I felt so attractive. There was something about carrying a child that made me feel so strong and beautiful. I wanted to show it off to the world and purposefully wear clothes that would make my bump more apparent because that was the sexiest I’d felt in a long time. I welcomed my first couple of stretch marks with joy because they were an outward symbol of the miracle that was happening inside my body. Then the stretch marks kept coming and coming. What started out as a few eventually became a ton. I’d gained but a few pounds until the last couple of months when the weight seemed to be sticking and all I could focus on was the number on the scale. My skin started to hate pregnancy. I began getting breakouts that were painful and worse than they’d been throughout my whole adolescence. Women always told me about how their hair was so nice during pregnancy; that it grew long and thick and it was shiny and beautiful. Though mine started out that way, it eventually became stringy and dull, at least to me. The confidence that I had felt during the first two trimesters waivered, and I wanted to start hiding my pregnant body instead of showing it off. Who you surround yourself with makes all the difference when it comes to body image during your pregnancy. I am blessed with a husband who makes me feel beautiful all the time and especially throughout my pregnancy. My family tells me that I’m carrying nicely, that my body looks healthy and strong. If you’re someone without those people in your life, remembering your beauty and worth can be difficult. It doesn’t help when Instagram is filled with the most flattering shots of other mommies and their pregnant bellies sporting the cutest maternity outfits while you’re sitting on the couch wearing only your husband’s t-shirt because nothing in your closet seems to fit right. I’m there and so are so many others. What has helped me through it is realizing how strong I must be to do what I’m doing. Yes, women have babies all the time, but that doesn’t make it any less amazing. Some days are hard and you don’t want to look in the mirror, but on the days where you can, remind yourself of how strong God must’ve made you to be able to make a human. Remind yourself of the patience you must possess in order to go through these changes for nine whole months. Remind yourself of how resilient you must be to be poked and prodded by your doctor at every appointment for the sake of another person. Those qualities are worth so much more than your outward appearance but they work hand in hand:When you feel strong in the inside, you feel more radiant on the outside. There will be days when you don’t feel beautiful and will dislike the way your body looks. But realizing how much you are needed by another human life will keep you going. Realizing how strong you are will overshadow any feelings of negativity you have about the way you look. Dear mamas, what you’re doing is amazing and you look so beautiful doing it."
Written by Simi Botic
@simibotic
" On September 5, we celebrated our son Alyosha’s first birthday! It’s been the most amazing year of my life – I absolutely love being his mama but I did not love being pregnant. For me, those 9+ months were some of the most challenging of my entire life. From very early on in my pregnancy I felt incredibly sick. I was nauseas constantly and continued to throw up daily from hyperemesis until the very end. I spent so many days laying on my bathroom floor and getting sick, just praying for some relief. I counted down days, weeks, and months until I would feel better. I felt incredibly isolated, trapped, and discouraged. I missed the super energetic version of myself. I missed being able to enjoy food. I missed WANTING to be social. I missed feeling at home in my body. What really helped me through that time was to remember that we are human and we are allowed to have tough experiences and seasons. In the beginning, this was REALLY hard for me to accept. I wanted to pretend like everything was fine but soon realized that pushing down my feelings of loneliness, sadness, and general unwell-ness only made it harder for me to process the experience. So I got real with myself, God, and the people who I trusted the most. I let myself open up and share. I let myself ask for help. It’s so important to be honest with ourselves and others about how we’re feeling, what we’re going through, and our true experiences. People want to love us through the tough stuff! Wherever you are or whatever you’re experiencing, you can be kind to yourself with your words, thoughts, & actions. Be tender with yourself & do the things (small or large) that help you feel supported. The details of our day can truly shift our experience! My wish for you and for me is that we can allow our lives to unfold in their beautiful, messy, unique ways. And, that we can all remember that some of God’s greatest gifts come out of more challenging seasons!"
Written by Abigale Amido
@operation_amido
"Once I was around 18 weeks pregnant or so, I had an epiphany. I’d officially figured out that pregnancy is different for every woman and that there was a 100% chance I wasn’t going to look like Blake Lively after all of this. The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far (currently 35 weeks, y’all!) is to OWN IT. OWN YOUR PREGNANCY, whatever it looks like. Your body is ONLY doing the most miraculous thing it’s designed to do… I keep getting this unsolicited lecture on how many oils and creams I should be putting on myself so I don’t get as many stretchmarks. I’m constantly seeing women bash themselves for how ugly their stretch marks are and how they’ll never comfortably wear a bikini again. WHY are stretch marks named the devil’s work? My stretchmarks are the handiwork of my little babe and I really don’t care if I have them or not. As I watch stretchmarks appear across my belly and sides, I remind myself that my body is doing miraculous things to accommodate what’s growing in my womb. Now, people are asking me what my plan is to lose my baby weight and shrink my belly skin back to pre pregnancy appearance. I call this the ugly pressure of “bouncing back”. My body literally just helped create, nourish, and protect a WHOLE PERSON. So then it comes out, and I still have to nourish, protect and raise it, but also have to worry about looking like it never happened?! *eye roll* During those cringey moments on the scale, I remind myself that I’m carrying my sweet baby. As I see parts of my body carrying more weight than ever, I givemyself grace and congratulated myself on becoming a mother. Furthermore, I won’t ever hold it against myself that my body changed during pregnancy. I tried for 2 years to have this baby and I want to wear all my mama bear markings with pride. I want to encourage women that it’s okay for our bodies to change during pregnancy and motherhood. Be kind to yourself and see yourself as God sees you: beautiful and chosen to carry his creation. "
Written by Kayla Root
@rootmkay
"As a young girl, I thought my struggles with body image would disappear as I approached my teen years and got my “teenager body.” I imagined myself with the perfect proportionate curves — doing away with the bulky gymnast body I began to hate as middle school approached and all my friends walked around in teeny tiny petite feminine bodies. And then when those teen years hit and my body wasn’t perfect, the gymnast muscle just layered with some extra fat that came after puberty... I told myself I’d “even out” when I became a REAL woman after graduation. I worked hard after high school and as a young adult to get the body I always wanted. To hit the number on the scale that I thought would satisfy me. These struggles many women face — as society and social media set expectations and standards that aren’t always realistic. And in the few months before I got pregnant, I had been working hard mentally to overcome these expectations. So when my husband and I decided to have a family and I got pregnant at 23, I couldn’t wait
to feel “free” from the pressures I put on myself to look a certain way. I couldn’t wait to just BE — and not worry about feeling
fat cause I’d have a nice beautiful round belly growing a miracle instead. Little did I know the weight would pile on MONTHS before that cute belly I wanted would actually be noticeable. Little did I know those same pressures and expectations would carry over into pregnancy. The pressure to be cute and pregnant, with the perfect belly and no stretch marks and to be “all belly” quickly began to seep into my thoughts. So when the number on the scale surpassed what the “average” woman gains during pregnancy, I cried a little. When the stretch marks appeared at 20 weeks even though I had been lathering myself in lotion everyday since day 1....I cried a little. Then when my face swelled up to twice it’s size and my maternity clothes even began getting tight around my thighs and butt — it took all the mental strength I had to not worry about it or let it bother me. But deep down it did. For most women it DOES. I believe no matter what we see on social media or what our friends and people around us say, every woman at some point struggles with the changes our bodies go through during pregnancy no matter how beautiful we know it is to grow life. This is REAL. The struggle of it all is REAL. But it IS beautiful. The struggle is beautiful. Through all of the pressures and expectations and comparison, I did eventually find that freedom I originally wanted to feel. How? I stopped getting on the scale (I even closed my eyes at my doctors appointments so I wouldn’t see), I stopped staring at my stretch marks after I got out of the shower, and I started wearing dresses everyday so I didn’t continue to notice the tightness of pants or leggings that I had bought specifically for pregnancy. I stopped focusing on what pregnancy was doing to my body and instead focused on what my body was doing for this pregnancy. It was growing LIFE. Every baby kick, every ultrasound, every chance to listen to the heartbeat — reminded me that this was all so much bigger than some marks on my body and weight on my hips. It wasn’t easy, I didn’t just magically break free from body image pressures, but I worked every day to free MYSELF from them with positive thinking and surrounded myself with supportive encouraging friends and family who everyday reminded me I was growing a healthy boy. And last month on September 11 when they placed that little 7lb baby on my chest... everything I spent the last 9 months worrying about immediately disappeared. Every tear I cried holding that sweet boy for the first time was a release of everything negative. And I thought to myself “it was all worth it.” Gaining 55 pounds, being covered in stretch marks, not fitting in flip flops cause my feet were so swollen—I’d do it all again just to get to experience those first few moments with my baby all over again for the first time. So if I have anything to say to mama’s-to-be out there it would be this... LET IT GO. Let those little worries go, let the pressures go, let the expectations to have a perfect body before, during and after pregnancy gooooo. Because it doesn’t matter. None of it matters the second you see that sweet face. I was embarrassed to tell people I had gained 55lbs during my pregnancy...and now I love my boy so much — shoot, I’d go back and gain 100 pounds if it still brought me this sweet healthy perfectly adorable baby boy. Pregnancy is so much bigger than how adorable you are and how much you’re “glowing.” The weight of responsibility of taking care of another human is something no one can prepare you for or warn you about. Its unreal. And THATS what you should spend your time thinking about and preparing for, not how cute you are or how much weight you’ve gained.
Appreciate the journey for the beautiful mess it is, and be prepared for motherhood to be just as messy and just as beautiful!"
Written by Leah Blondin
@livinglifezen
"Getting pregnant & becoming a mama is something I’d dreamed about since I was a little girl. It still feels really surreal… I almost still don’t believe I’m 22 weeks along & am creating a little life!
Regarding the changes I’ve seen in my body, it’s been a bit challenging to watch.
As a yoga instructor & owner of a yoga studio, people closely watch me. They notice changes in my body (especially since I’m always wearing tighter clothes). They notice when I get stronger & when my own personal practice has taken a back seat in my life & I’m feeling a little weak.
Many of my students even knew I was pregnant long before I announced it or thought I had any sort of belly bloat! Some said they could see a little pooch (uh, thanks?!) & others could tell because my balance was slightly off. While all that is fine & normal... it’s been a struggle to modify & accept what my body is capable of & ultimately wants to do (which is not a whole lot of yoga to be honest!). I’ve also found myself wearing baggy clothes to hide the rolls under my (now even tighter) yoga pants & to cover up the crazy acne that has sprung up on the backs of my shoulders. It’s all uncomfortable to say the least. As I'm now out of that phase where people are scared to ask if I’m pregnant or just drinking a lot of beer… it’s become a lot more comfortable to just own my belly & rock it for what it is - a beautiful little life! "
Written by Brittany Reilly
@brittanylee728
"Pregnancy saved my life. I know that without a doubt in my mind that God allowed me to become pregnant to literally save my life. To have something new to live for, something to be excited about, something to love and nurture. I am a former figure competitor and always deep down wanted kids but had fear of getting fat and fear of the marriage I was in was not stable enough to have kids. Fast forward, I am not longer in the competing/fitness world heavily like I used to be, I spend more hours spending time with my family rather than countless hours in a gym. I went through a hard divorce that ended up being a huge blessing, and my past all brought me to meet my now boyfriend and love of my life who Im bringing a child into this world with. I guess the hard part of my pregnancy was not the physical transformations (about 1/2 way through my pregnancy now) but what people might think of me because I was a divorced woman now having a child with my boyfriend. I only allowed myself to get upset a little because I knew God had a plan for my life bigger than I knew, and that God does not call the perfect, He uses the imperfect. I know that by sharing my life, my past pain and my testimony has helped others. Growing a little boy has brought me so much joy. Its a joy and an excitement thats indescribable. NO matter the situation you are on, whether pure perfection or a hard struggle, know that your carrying a blessing and we have a savior who is control."
Written by Lindsey Luekenga
@lindseyluekenga
"Hello, I’m Lindsey! I’m twenty-two and a stay-at-home mama to my thirteen month old son, Henry. I’m also fourteen weeks pregnant with his baby sister. We did a blood test and found out early that she’s a girl! I’ve been married to my highschool sweetheart for four years and we live in Arizona. (Yes, I got married at seventeen.) Being a mama already and now experiencing pregnancy again, my body looks quite different than it did before. I was never very confident about my body growing up, either. I was on the taller side and was always way bigger than my peers when we had our yearly BMI testing at school. According to the BMI, I was almost overweight every year, sometimes actually overweight. It made me feel so bad about myself and looking back at photos, I wasn’t overweight at all. The heaviest I was my senior year was 132 lbs while being 5 foot, 7 inches tall. When I became pregnant with Henry, I was already bigger than I wanted to be from gaining twenty pounds from being depressed after we experienced two miscarriages. But I was so happy, so it was all okay. From the start of my pregnancy, I only gained the amount of weight I was supposed to, but that didn’t stop my body from “betraying me.” I got my first stretch mark at ten weeks and by the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced they were going to be up to my neck before he came! Haha. I tried every lotion and cream, everyday, and nothing worked. It’s all genetic! My placenta was on the front and it was pretty low so it made my stomach sag down pretty low. I wasn’t liking the way my body was changing, but I knew it was for the most perfect baby boy and was going to all be worth it! After he was born, I lost all the pregnancy and miscarriage weight (sixty-five pounds) so fast from breastfeeding and gallbladder surgery, that I now have extra skin on my stomach and thighs. But I was more confident in myself after having Henry than in my entire life. I couldn’t believe God made my body capable to hold and carry that sweet baby, birth him, and then also feed him… all with my body. I was far from model material, but I felt more beautiful than ever. It was probably when Henry was four or five months old that the “mama high” started fizzling away. Of course I was still so happy with my sweet baby, but the newness of birth and the miracle of pregnancy was far enough away that I was starting to resent my body again. I also regained my cycle when he was five months old and my acne since then has been the worst in my life! (thank you, hormones..) I knew I wanted to have a milk bath photoshoot done with him for our six month milestone with breastfeeding. While we were doing the shoot, the mesh that the photographer had to cover my belly kept getting pushed up by Henry’s legs while he was trying to nurse. She would remind me to pull it back down before she snapped another photo. I finally just said, “Ya know what? Just for me, take a few without the cover. That’s more real, anyway.” So she did. She sent me several the next day asking which ones she could post and that was one of them. I never thought I would share something so personal for me, but when I seen the photo, it was so healing. I didn’t see all the “flab” and stretch marks. I saw home and comfort for a beautiful baby. I saw the beauty and miracle of pregnancy again, even though he was six months. I just needed to see it through someone else’s eyes. She shared the photo, and by the next morning, it was on Yahoo! Beauty. So many women were feeling encouraged themselves because society has made us feel like we’re out of place when we don’t look perfect in a bikini after having a baby. Now that I’m pregnant again, my baby bump isn’t as cute unless I have my maternity pants on from the extra skin still, but that’s okay. I know now what to expect, and that this is truly a miracle. Especially having to lose two babies in the past. Knowing that I’m expecting a baby girl makes me want to love myself even more because I want her to love herself. She’ll watch how I feel about myself and since she came from me, she’ll do the same. I don’t want her to feel like I did. I know that God made her and I (and you!) in His image and fearfully and wonderfully made us. He set us apart. He knows all the hairs on our heads. To think we aren’t beautiful is to think that God doesn’t know what He’s doing… and He totally does. "
Thank you to all the women who wrote in for this post! I am so honored to be able to have a place for your words to be and encourage others!
When I first got pregnant I didn't realize I was pregnant because my morning sickness came before my missed period and I thought it was the flu. Before and I found out and when I found out I was always afraid of me looking like a beach ball, due to me being only 4'10, and looking like a penguin when walking. Once I got pregnant I had severe morning sickness. I lost 30 pounds my first trimester. I was so sick and even depressed. I had morning sickness up until my 6th month. Due to how bad my morning sickness was I didn't start showing until my 7th month. During my 5-7th months I would see all these beautiful pregnant bellies and I would get sad because I didn't have that yet . I would get sad because I would feel my baby move all the time I wanted to take progress bump pictures and maternity pictures. Something that I had feared I wanted. Now I'm 39 weeks and due on the 17th of Oct, I look and feel like a beach ball, I waddle like a penguin but now that I'm close to meeting my baby I can't help but think that I'm gonna miss my bump and miss feeling him. I feel so blessed already that God made me his mom and all the morning sickness and depression was worth it.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful!! I have honestly been afraid to get pregnant because of how my body would be during and after pregnancy but reading these stories this has made me feel a lot better for when I'm blessed with my children! So thank you! You are all beautiful and strong!!
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